Last Monday I wrote a blog I titled Sitting in the Silence of Vulnerability and the response I have gotten has been interesting. I have received emails confirming what I suspected. There are many of you that feel the same way I do. While reading the emails I couldn’t help but wonder, “What is the answer?” While I can’t speak for you what I can say is that for me the answer is in the willingness to be completely transformed from the inside out, being willing to break free so that life can be different in the future.
You may be asking, “What does that look like?” To be completely honest, it’s ugly, it’s brutal and it is certainly not for everyone. It’s ugly because it involves facing your skeletons, yes the skeletons that have been hidden in the closet that you don’t want anyone to know about. It’s ugly because it means facing the guilt and shame that you have carried for years, sometimes decades. It’s ugly because the work sometimes requires us to trust someone else to coach us through the process and being 100 percent open and honest. Bottom line, doing the work necessary for transformation is quite difficult.
I realize that I have been pretty negative so let me spend some time sharing what I have learned from taking the time to do the ugly work. Just like spending time in the gym and doing the heavy weight lifting your body transforms into a beach body, doing the work necessary your life can be completely transformed. I chose a few months back to begin the transformational journey and the first thing I had to realize was there is no “there.” There will never be an arrival point, in other words I will always be a work in progress. By realizing this it helps me to remember to live in the moment. Not to try to live in the future and working to keep the past in the past.
I knew that I have been carrying guilt and shame around for many years. I have allowed the secrets in my life as well as other people control me, control my decisions and to control my future. When I began working with a coach I made the conscious decision to lay it all out and to seek a path to break free from the prison I have lived in for so many years. I now have peace and far more confidence in my life and myself.
We all carry around ghosts and secrets that we don’t want anyone to know about. When I shared my fears, doubts, secrets, and my vision for my life I felt like a tremendous load had been lifted off my shoulders. No longer is there self-imposed guilt and shame, nor do I allow others to place guilt on me. That is one of the most liberating things that I did. You may be reading this and thinking, “Yeah, this all sounds good Scott but you have no idea my past and the things that I have done.” You are right, I don’t but one thing I can promise you is that whatever you may have done, someone has done far worse and found freedom. Continuing to think thoughts like that will do nothing but keep you stuck.
What is your enough point for living in a self-detained prison? Comment below and stay tuned for something special I am putting together to help you break free.