There are no perfect people in the world, which means there are no perfect marriages but there are secrets to a happy marriage. There was a couple on the news this week celebrating 60 years of marriage. This is almost unheard of anymore. Recently I shared a statistic while leading a marriage seminar that I received some push-back on. I shared that fifty percent (50%) of all marriages today are ending in divorce. More focus seems to be placed on the 50% that will divorce, but what about the 50% that are staying together? What is the secret to a happy marriage? Below are the secrets to a happy marriage.
By virtue of the fact that this couple on the news made it 60 years tells me that it is possible. I have led many marriage seminars and the questions from the couples at every seminar are all similar.
Must do’s for a happy marriage
Marriages that are successful take work and lots of effort on the part of both individuals.
1. Make God the center. It is my belief that if God is not the center then your marriage will never be completely whole.
2. Marriage is 100%. Many believe that marriage is both giving 50/50. This is a myth that has been carried down for many years. Both the husband and the wife must be willing to give 100/100. Choosing to only give 50 percent of you, of your effort and your attention is certain to create a very unhappy marriage.
3. Be secure in yourself. Nearly everyone has something that they are insecure about. One of the best ways to become secure in yourself is to find ways to compliment your spouse and help them to be secure in themselves. Build up your spouse, encourage them and support them and you will begin to feel more secure in yourself.
4. Speak your spouse’s language. No, I am not talking about English or Spanish, I am talking about their love language. Gary Chapman wrote a book I would encourage you to purchase called The Five Love Languages (This is an affiliated link). If your spouse’s love language is acts of service, meaning they enjoy when you do things for them than giving them a compliment will probably not be as appreciated.
5. Be open to communication. Couples do not know how to communicate with each other. I see couples all the time sitting together at a restaurant and both are on their phones texting or playing a game. The problem with this is that when a situation arises that really needs to be dealt with and discussed they don’t know how to talk to each other. Find some time each day to talk to each other.
While this is not to be considered all inclusive, there are many more tools and resources that I could give you. I would love to answer your most pressing questions so leave me a comment below.